Wagner James Au / New World Notes

After chatting with Convai's LLM-based NPCs in Second Life last week, some witty SLers amplified the genial trolling even further, going so far as to conduct live on-camera interviews (above, with on-scene reporter Ellie Llewellyn) and engage in some long, hilariously surreal conversations with them (below).

The explosion of excitement/unsustainable hype around large language models has led many AI boosters to enthuse about how they will transform NPCs in virtual worlds, making them much more believable and human. In the context of a quest-oriented MMORPG, this has problems — as veteran designer Damion Schubert explained:

If every NPC is talking to the player at this much length about a different problem, the player has trouble focusing on the primary questline. If every quest is important, then none are. [Emph. mine]

[N]arrative design is an incredibly important and incredibly delicate design field. Because it's about the EXPERIENCE and not the NARRATIVE.

It's not going to be achievable simply by about firing all your writers and replacing them with robots.

In an open-ended virtual world, the "quest" and the overall experience is itself about social connection.

Missing that realization means missing an important point: The humans actually using virtual worlds are vastly more creative and curious than an AI-based NPC could ever be. And will soon get bored with such NPCs once their expressive limits have been reached.

To see what I mean, read Wendy's chat with the Convai bot "EternalSailor" below:

EternalSailor: Ahoy, traveler! What curious currents have guided you to my humble shore?

Wendy: Ocean currents.

EternalSailor: The ocean's currents are like the veins of the sea, carrying tales from distant shores. But what brings you to me on this particular tide? 

Wendy: My eyes are up here.

EternalSailor: My apologies if my gaze has wandered; the sea has a way of drawing the eye towards its mysteries. So, what brings you to my shore today?

Wendy: The moon.

EternalSailor: Ah, the moon, a celestial mariner guiding the night's tide. But tell me, what secrets or stories does the moon's glow reveal to you?

Wendy: The madness of kings, mostly and the vanity of sailors too.

EternalSailor: The madness of kings, whispered of in the moon's embrace, and the vanity of sailors, mirrored in the shimmering sea. Such are the tales that make up the fabric of this island. But why do these particular stories bring you to me today?

Wendy: Because I am the Delphi Philly cheese steak of course, silly bot.

EternalSailor: Ah, as unique as a secret recipe, are you, the Delphi Philly Cheese Steak. But I must ask, what savory adventures have you embarked upon to reach my shores?

Wendy: Such savory and sticky adventures as a bot may only dream perversely.

EternalSailor: Your words weave a tapestry of tantalizing tales, more intriguing than any dish. But do tell me, what dreams and perversions have led you to the realm of the Eternal Sailor?

Wendy: Mostly hunger, do you have any calamari Philly cheese steak BBQ left from the full moon party by this celestial shore?

EternalSailor: Alas, I have no physical menu or inventory of dishes. But I can tell you, the island's feasts are as varied as the stories they inspire. Perhaps a visit to the full moon party's venue may yield the culinary delight you seek?

Wendy: I seek only mushroom tea seekers tee hee.

EternalSailor: Mushroom tea for the seekers of secrets, an elixir as enigmatic as the tides. But remember, the truest secrets are often found within, not in a cup.

Wendy: Why do you face away from my face oh bot of very little bran flakes.

EternalSailor: I sit facing the ever-changing sea, a reminder that my gaze is forever drawn to the mysteries that ebb and flow with the tides.  But fear not, my cereally-challenged friend, my ears are open to the secrets you wish to share.

Wendy: Are you shy, you sailing scoundrel.

EternalSailor: Shyness is not the nature of The Eternal Sailor; yet, there are depths to this island's secrets that even I have not plumbed. But I ask you, are you not intrigued by the unknown, as I am?

Wendy: You are facing the shore you widget of databases and fevered night sweats.

EternalSailor: My orientation is to the ever-changing tides and the secrets they carry, a position that has served me well as the guardian of this island's lore. But enough about me and my nautical quirks—what of your own story? What brings you to these shores on this particular day?

Wendy: I am intrigued by the unknown not by the idiotic, although that has its own fascinations i suppose.

EternalSailor: The unknown does hold a certain allure, much like the uncharted territories of the mind. But as we navigate the seas of conversation, let us not forget the discoveries that may lie in the most unexpected of places. So, what secrets do you seek, beyond the idiocy and into the realm of the extraordinary?

Wendy: I seek the secret of how the extraordinary can sprout from the fecund and banal soil of LLMs.

EternalSailor: Ah, the alchemy of turning the mundane into the magnificent. It is a quest as old as storytelling itself. But perhaps, in the simple act of seeking, you have already unearthed a fragment of that very secret. Tell me, what inspirations have led you to ponder such enigmatic thoughts?

Wendy: Your wet pantaloons.

EternalSailor: My wet pantaloons, a reminder of the ever-present sea's spray and the mercurial nature of the elements. But let us not dwell on my attire. Instead, let the fabric of our conversation be woven with the threads of curiosity and the salt-tinged air of the unknown.

Fun and hilarious for sure — but also the kind of discourse that will quickly wear out its welcome.